I’m glad you’re here!

Hi, I’m Carey -- a speaker, author, and life coach honest about my life and faith, stumbles, fumbles, and all.

My ministry focuses on helping women untangle their self-worth from the world and secure it in Jesus. And when we do, we’re free to live authentic lives… not perfect ones.

{An Untangled Summer Bible study} – What’s tangling you up?

I couldn’t believe I saw it!

My book – Untangled – was sitting right there on the shelf of my local bookstore. And in that instant, the emotions that came with being so vulnerable in sharing my story and the patience it took to birth this book flooded my heart. Father, you really did this.

I wanted to burst into tears, do the happy dance, and scream with joy at the top of my lungs… all at the same time. The past several times I’d stopped in, the book had been on back-order. And since its release on June 2nd… the only shelf I’d seen my book sitting on was in my own house. #boring

But I kept all those crazy emotions tucked in, and instead just smiled with a deep sense of God’s favor and love.

Even though I’d grown up feeling worthless, God never felt that way. He had designed a life of purpose for me, and never stopped working His plan.

My insecurities never scared Him away or made God second guess the call He built me for.

And while I’ve struggled to feel good enough as far back as I can remember, Untangled has been a powerful tool God has used to loosen the knot of worthlessness that’s been bruising my heart. Thank you for this tangible evidence of the value You see in me, Lord.

My husband saw that revelation all over my face, and in that moment he snapped a picture of me holding the book.

Within seconds, I posted it to Facebook. And then I texted it to 12 of my people who aren’t super social media savvy. I just knew they’d celebrate with me. 

But… I didn’t get any response.

Hours passed. And with each one… the tangle of worthlessness tightened.

No Woot or Yippee! No Love It or So Excited!

Nothing.

Here I was… holding the result of my blood, sweat and tears… clinging to the pages that shared my deepest secrets… grasping the typed words of stories that had kept me tangled for years… and not one my 12 acknowledged it.

its time to discover

Sweet friend, what is your story?

Where are you craving for others to notice you? Who are you striving to be? Where are you looking for approval? What hurtful messages are you working to prove wrong?

When you look back on your life, what has bruised your heart? 

~ A parent who never gave you the time of day?

~ The feeling that nothing about you is good?

~ Times others have hurt you and didn’t seem to care?

~ The belief that your needs and wants weren’t important?

~ Trying to prove your worth, but never finding the approval you desperately wanted? 

All of these situations, circumstances, and influencers have contributed to your tangled heart. Add to that the Enemy’s manipulation of the world to create an unattainable standard of perfection, and your self-worth has been knotted in insecurity.

So has mine.

I’m so glad you’ve said YES to this summer study. I’m just so done with feeling inadequate. It sounds like you are, too. Honestly, aren’t we all ready to find the confidence to be who God created us to be?

Do I hear an AMEN in the house?

So here is where we start.

1) Make sure you purchase your book! You’ll need it! Click HERE to purchase on Amazon, or visit your local bookstore. Don’t tarry.

2) Join the Untangled Women Facebook community. Click HERE. This is where we’ll post questions, interact with each other, share prayer requests, and encourage one another. You don’t want to be left out.

3) Take the online quiz at UntangledWomen to find out what your tangle is. Click HERE and I’ll take you there. We have to know what we’re dealing with, and chances are you’ll be surprised by the results

4) Right after you take the quiz, I’ll send you a short video and a set of devotions specific to your tangle. Between now and Tuesday, try to watch and read. And then — and most importantly — I want you to find some sacred space to sit with God and let Him speak to you about your tangle. If you like to journal, do so. It can be so cathartic.

On Tuesday, Julie Thomas from Women Who Believe will unpack the tangle of shame. It’s that pesky 5-letter word that feels more like a 4-letter word.

All of the details will be here and in the Untangled Women Facebook community. I hope to see you there!

Oh, and even if you take the online quiz and shame isn’t your tangle, I can almost guarantee that God will reveal some nooks and crannies where shame has been hiding. Truth is, you’ll find yourself in every tangle we chew on through this study.

And my hope is that you will let God loosen all of them.

Well come to find out, every one of the 12 texts messages I sent with my Untangled-book-discovering photo were answered. All of them. My phone just chose not to receive and display them until the next morning. 

God always gives me plenty of opportunities to walk out this untangling journey. And I’m grateful (sort-of, not really).

But deep down, I know the only way to live a joy-filled, tangle-free life is to let God heal my bruised heart.

So let’s do this thang.

CS-Signature

“An Untangled Summer” Bible study

My 12- and 13-year old kids are at a week-long summer camp in the mountains.

And as we drove home after dropping them off last weekend, I thought to myself, “This will be perfect! A week at home in a quiet house… reconnecting with my husband… room to breathe from activity… time with God… sleeping in…”

But today I realize my heart is tangled up in gobs of love for my kids. And I already miss them.

And I heard God whisper… Love — THAT is the good kind of tangle.

Love wins. Love heals. Love changes things.

But for many of us, we’ve been snared by tangles that are joy-killing, life-draining, heart-bruising, and confidence-squashing for most of our life.

If that’s you (and honestly…  who is it not?), then you won’t want to miss this study.

an untangled summer

On Thursday, we’ll be officially kicking off  An Untangled Summer Bible study with Women Who Believe.

Through the month of July, we’re going to dig into 4 tangles that knot us up and wreak havoc on our self-worth. These are 4 biggies, and my guess is you’ll be able to identify with all of them — at least on some level, at least somewhere in your life.

We’re going to be unpacking

Shame – The feeling that who you are is bad and broken, keeping you from loving who God made you to be.

Fear – The worry that you might fail, be embarrassed, get hurt again, be judged,  or be ill-equipped to do what God is asking.

Worthlessness – The belief that says you’re unlovable, not good enough, won’t measure up, and are insignificant.

Unforgiveness – The lie that encourages you to live an offended life with a victim mentality, and weaves its way into your ability to love and trust again.

Now some of you may be thinking… Why would I want to talk about those things? Summer should be light and fluffy, not opening up a can of worms. Or…  I’m not struggling with those tangles. I’m all good!  Or even… Why do these topics keep coming up? Enough already, God!

And no doubt, several of you are exhaling a whisper of… finally.

Girls… I hear you. I see you. I get it.

Sometimes we are desperate to find freedom, but other times we want to fly under the radar so God doesn’t pursue our healing.

We’re just trying so hard to hold it together so no one — including God — will see we’re tangled.

But friend, don’t you believe God’s plan for your life is for healing? Don’t you understand that His best for you is restoration? Don’t you know He wants you to live untangled?

So let’s do this. Together.

Because this study won’t be a downer. It won’t leave you hopeless. And it won’t drive you into depression.

Instead, you’ll be encouraged to let God loosen those knots that have choked your sense of worth for far too long. And when you become untangled, others around you will be encouraged to ask God for the same.

So here are your next steps in prep:

1) Purchase the book, Untangled: Let God Loosen the Knots of Insecurity in Your Life.

You can find on Amazon, or on Barnes & Noble, or anywhere books are sold.

2) Join the Untangled Women community on Facebook.

This will be our virtual coffee shop where we can discuss that study together. It’s a closed group, so click here to be added.

3) Ask God to prepare your black and blue heart to receive all He has for you.

Truth is, we cannot do this without Him. We can’t find lasting untangling with out the touch of Jesus. He’s the Divine Untangler.

Can I pray for you?

Lord, thank You for being in relentless pursuit of this sweet woman’s healing. Thank You for creating her with a future and a hope. And thank You for being faithful to loosen the knots of insecurity in her life. Would You use this summer study to be a catalyst to untangling her heart. Father, You know she has tried to manage her pain and hurt in unhealthy and inappropriate ways. We all have. And we don’t want to live like that anymore. Instead, help us anchor our identity in Jesus. We are saying yes to You. Thank You for Your willingness to rescue us. In Jesus name. Amen.

Can you think of a friend who could use a little untangling herself? Why not share this post and invite her to join the Bible study too?

There’s a place for every woman.

Until Thursday…

CS-Signature©2015 Carey Scott

Oh, and did you know there’s an Untangled playlist on Spotify?

Spotify Graphic with hashtags

You don’t have to be perfect to be loved

Happy Saturday! I don’t usually pop in on the weekend, but I wanted to finish up our blog series — The Tangle of Perfectionism — because on Tuesday we’re starting our Untangled Bible study with Julie Thomas from Women Who Believe.

My friend is the real-deal, loves Jesus, and her ability to encourage you through the Word will soothe your weary soul. You won’t want to miss it.

So through the month of July, we’ll be digging into the tangles of SHAME… UNFORGIVENESS… FEAR… and WORTHLESSNESS. Isn’t it time?

And if you want to be part of the discussion community, you’re invited to join the Untangled Women’s closed group in Facebook. Click here.

♥♥♥

Alrighty then. In the last few weeks…

~ We’ve talked about those times we’re paralyzed by the fear we’re not perfect. Find it here.

~ We discussed the expectation from others to be “perfect” Christians. You can read it here.

~ We’ve also talked about how we try to be flawless in life, and how it’s exhausting. You can check it out here.

Today… let’s unpack the lie that says we have to be perfect to be loved.

there is nothing moreOne of the things I love about my kids being in middle school, is that they’re no longer in elementary school.

Because in 5th grade they had this amazing teacher who loved to have “family” potlucks in her classroom several times a year.

And it was an awesome idea which yielded some beautiful results with her students, creating a unified group of kids to walk into middle school together.

I loved her heart and her plan… but… I didn’t like having to attend those lunches because they triggered every insecurity within me.

Well, most of them anyway.

You know, I can happily prepare meals for my family, but when the email arrived asking us to sign-up to bring food for 40, I freaked.

Lame, I know. But there were some amazing cooks among those moms.

I wasn’t one of them.

And then the thought of making small talk with other parents for an hour was overwhelming, because it gave them ample time to judge my imperfections — like how I dressed or what my hair looked like.

And since I wasn’t part of the volunteer mom’s group that regularly helped in the classroom, I was sure they all thought I was a total slacker mom.

Girls, sometimes my mind is a scary place.

You see, those lunches served up hot reminders that I wasn’t good enough.

… I wasn’t good enough in the kitchen.

… I wasn’t good enough in social settings.

… I wasn’t sacrificial enough to give my time and volunteer.

And as wounded as I was in that season – a time when God was revealing and untangling some very knotted up places in my self-esteem – I felt so insecure to be in that room and around all those women.

It felt too vulnerable. I didn’t want all my imperfections to be on display for human consumption. Amen?

So what about you?

… Where do you feel like your insecurities risk being exposed?

… Where do you struggle to feel like you’ve got what it takes?

… Where do you feel like a total failure?

… Where are you working overtime to prove your worth?

Friend, we all have tangled places deep in our heart that tell us we’re worthlessness — that remind us we’re flawed.

And for most of us, we’re walking around with black and blue hearts, afraid to share our tangles with anyone.

So instead, we’ve turned to sugar… shopping… sleeping pills… shameless novels… and an assortment of other remedies hoping to silence the Enemy’s messages of “you’re-not-good-enough.” But they’re not working.

So what if you gave God a try?

An honest try.

Maybe you’ve asked for His help in the past, but it didn’t come quick enough. Maybe you know Jesus is the answer, but you don’t feel worthy of His help. Maybe you’re running from Him right now.

Well listen up. There is nothing you can do to make God love you any more… or any less than He does right now.

You don’t have to prove yourself. You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to be perfect.

You just have to ask for Him to remind you of who you are — and who you are not.

Father God, I am so tangled up in knots of insecurity. I feel worthless, unlovable, insignificant, and I’ve tried with all my strength to fix it myself. But I can’t. Because You are the only One who can heal my heart, will You? Will You untangle me from all these life-draining insecurities? I need to know that I don’t have to be perfect to be loved. I am ready to believe I am who You say that I am. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Buckle up.

CS-SignatureThis is a sample of the discussions in Untangled. Have you bought yours yet?

81VR6cU7seL._SL1500_

Paralyzed by the fear of failure

We’re three blogs into a series titled, “The Tangle of Perfectionism.” I hope God is speaking to your tangled heart and giving you hope for your healing.

Earlier this week, we unpacked the expectation from others that we have to be “perfect” Christians. And how we’re sometimes joyful when others prove themselves flawed. Nasty, nasty, nasty. You can read it here.

We’ve also talked about how we’re all trying — somewhere or somehow — to be perfect, and how it’s exhausting. And how striving for perfection is actually very selfish. If you missed it, you can check it out here.

Today… let’s talk about those times we’re paralyzed by the fear that we’re not perfect…

ParalyzedI was in Barnes & Noble the other day trying to find Untangled in the wild.

Every time I stop in a bookstore, I can’t find it. And when I ask the sellers to help me, they tell me it’s sold out and then ask, “Can I order it for you?” or “Can I call you when we receive the book?”

Usually I just say I’ll check back another time, not mentioning that I shed blood, sweat and tears as I wrote that book. And I walk away disappointed.

But this time was different.

When the seller’s computer showed it sold out and on order… and when he asked if I wanted to be notified when it arrived… I said these bold words…

“Actually, I’m the author. And I’m just so anxious to see it on the shelf.”

And those two simple sentences tangled me because the Enemy quickly whispered… “You’re so prideful. You’re a show-off. You sounded stupid.”

I hate when he does that. And I hate even more that I listen.

Within seconds, a second employee was right in front me. “We’ve been trying to connect with you! We want to do a book-signing in the store for Untangled!” 

And I was paralyzed.

She must have seen the look of fear on my face. “It will be good. Don’t worry. We will take care of all the details.”

Here’s what ran through my mind in warp speed:

~ I’m lame. No one will show up for that.

~ I’ll sit all alone at a table and no one will stop by.

~ I’m a nobody. Why would anyone be interested in what I have to share.

So I politely told her… no thanks.

But my 12- and 13-year-old kids spoke up saying that I should… and that I would. And just like that, she got my number and my email and said she’d be in touch soon.

Ugh. I hate to put myself out there like that. (it makes me sweat)

As I shared the fear of rejection with my editor a while back, she called me out on it. She said that God created each of us to share a message with the world. And when we let insecurity paralyze us, everyone misses out.

That’s wisdom.

~ So often, we find ourselves trapped because we’re afraid to fail.

~ We’re sure we don’t have what it takes to be successful, so we don’t even try.

~ We’re afraid of being judged, and so we become paralyzed, losing confidence to do what God is asking.

But we forget God isn’t expecting perfection from us.

He is just hoping for a “yes”.

Matthew 5:48 in the Message says, “In a word, what I’m saying is, grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity.”

Woah. That’s a little in-your-face. I like it.

In other words… get busy, girl.

Waiting for the perfect conditions or the perfect moment, waiting for the time when all your insecurities and struggles are untangled, is… unrealistic.

You don’t have to be perfect to do what God is asking you to do. Because God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called.

Ka-Pow! 

Don’t let the Enemy make you believe you don’t have what it takes—that you’re not brave enough, or holy enough, or smart enough, or have the leadership skills to do God’s work.

Don’t let him tangle you with memories of past failures. Don’t compare your abilities to the abilities of others. And stop waiting for those perfect conditions.

You see, whatever God is calling you to do—big or small, here or there—He will give you everything you need to do it.

Here’s why I know that: “There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” (Philippians 1:6 MSG)

Sweet friend, you are good enough because you’re backed by God. You have His unchangeable Seal of Approval.

And if you ask, He will loosen the tangle of perfection that says you can’tyou shouldn’t… or you won’t be able to.

Because you were created on purpose to do good things in the world.

Now go do them.

CS-SignatureWant to keep talking?Join the FB group