I’m glad you’re here!

Hi, I’m Carey -- a speaker, author, and life coach honest about my life and faith, stumbles, fumbles, and all.

My ministry focuses on helping women untangle their self-worth from the world and secure it in Jesus. And when we do, we’re free to live authentic lives… not perfect ones.

When the world worships the young and perky… and you’re not either of those things

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We live in a world that glorifies the young.

It worships and admires the perky.

It rewards the toned, taut, and tiny.

And so we spend countless dollars and endless hours trying to be those things.

… Because we want to feel loved and adored.

… We want to feel like we still “have it.”

… We need to know we are still relevant.

Our tangled heart needs to know the wrinkles and sags and age spots don’t disqualify us from being significant. Or valuable.

Or beautiful.

But what if we decided our gray hairs are delicate reminders of a life full of loving others.

Can we agree that our wrinkled face is a visual reminder of a life full of laughter.

And what if we accepted that our aging bodies are wearing down because of the weight of compassion we’ve carried.

So go ahead and let the world worship the young and perky. Truth is, its obsession with discovering the fountain of youth will never die.

But let’s be confident in knowing that our value as a woman is not dependent on us finding it.

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When she lashes out at you…

hurt people hurt peopleShe let me have it.

The email was hurtful and hateful, and she held nothing back.

This woman called me every name in the book, explained in detail why I was unworthy of her following my blog, and gave me a laundry list of why I was irrelevant.

Ouch.

And I opened this email while on vacation with my husband.

Double ouch.

When people lash out at us, it often reinforces those messages we already believe that remind us we’re worthless.

… or that we aren’t good enough at ______.

… or that we’ll never measure up to her.

… or that we won’t ever fit in.

And it tangles our self-worth into a million knots of insecurity. Maybe even a billion.

But the truth is… hurt people, hurt people.

It works like this:

→  Something you say or do – usually inoffensively – triggers a tangled place in her.

→  From that tangled place of hurt, she responds by lashing out at you.

→  And her words or actions hurt your feelings because it triggers one of your tangled places.

Hurt people… hurt people.

And it’s not cool when that plays out. It’s not fair or right or kind.

It hurts.

And we respond one of two ways:

  • We try to hurt them right back, OR
  • We take it and let it fester.

I’ve done both. Chances are, you have too.

When that email came through with her mean-spirited comments, I wanted to let her have it. I wanted to hurt her right back. I thought of several responses that would’ve put her in her place. And they were diggers.

It would have felt so good to respond in-kind, because she had no right to lash out like that.

But instead of perfectly executing “Plan Annihilation” … God was quick to remind me that hurt people — hurt people.

And just like that – almost miraculously – instead of being angry, I felt compassion for her journey. Her words stopped tangling me.

Can’t we all relate to this woman, though? We been on those mind-numbing, heart-breaking, fear-creating journeys where we took every bit of our anger and hurt and spewed it on some innocent victim in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Oh how we needed grace through those very messy seasons.

Without God’s untangling work in our own lives, we’d be hard-pressed to let “lashings” from other women not deeply affect us. It’s a common response to get hurt when people are mean.

But when we let God loosen those knots of insecurity — the ones that challenge how we feel about ourselves—He will untangle the hold they have on our self-worth.

So the next time someone lashes out at us, our heart will break for them … rather than because of them. 

CS-Signature©2015 Carey Scott

The only way to truly love yourself

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Fad diets. New clothes. A change  in hair color. Anything to make us feel better ourselves.

We change jobs… careers… and neighborhoods hoping new scenery will give us a renewed excitement for our life.

We fabricate… elevate… and exaggerate our online persona to feel better about our reality.

We hate our widow’s peak. We want smaller thighs. We dislike the size of our feet. We obsess over our wrinkles.

When will it end?

How will you ever be content with the way God made you?

By asking Him to make it be.

So, ask Him.

CS-Signature©2015 Carey Scott

 

When you want to be her

you werent createdWe’ve all seen that woman who always looks beautiful.

… even if she’s just worked out.

… even if she just rolled out of bed.

… even if she has 5 kids.

even if she has a full-time job.

…even if she’s been crying.

And we’ve thought to ourselves, “How can I compete with that?”

Especially because we try to look our best — except in morning drop-off line at school — and still can’t compete with her.

It’s frustrating.

And it not only triggers those insecurities that tangle us up, but it can also awaken the not-so-nice girl in each of us.

We think things like:

~ She may be pretty, but I bet she isn’t very friendly.

~ Her legs might be long and toned, but I bet she can’t cook to save her life.

~ Her complexion is flawless, but I bet she’s not a very attentive mom.

Sometimes we secretly hope something in her perfect world would go wrong so she’d seem more mortal. And so we place a microscope on her life looking for something to criticize…

…just so we feel better about ourselves.

Yuck, yuck, and yuck.

Don’t you ever wonder why?

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